Controlling Fear

 

Girls taking advantage of an early swim season

With surgery approaching, my anxiety levels have increased quite a bit.  I know that I’m in the best possible hands and doing what I need to do, but it’s still scary.

The weird part is that I don’t think I understood the gravity of my situation until I met with the surgeon.  You’d think that 12 weeks of chemo would have opened my eyes.  Sitting with the surgeon, we meticulously inspected my CT scans.  Obviously, we were pleased to not see any other cancer in my body, but I did get a very close look at the tumor I have in my body.

Testicular cancer is very predictable.  It originates in the testicle, spreads to the lymph nodes near my kidney, then to the lungs and brain.  My cancer only went to one lymph node and did not spread beyond that.  Chemo has done 70% of the job and surgery will finish it.

So here is where I’m at.  My surgeon is very talented and with the Mayo Clinic.  The procedure will be done robotically using a machine called the Da Vinci Surgical System.  The surgery is minimally invasive and I should have a pretty quick recovery.

In preparation for the surgery, I must see a pulmonologist to ensure that my lungs are healthy enough for surgery.  This should be fine considering I ran three miles over the weekend and just did 30 minutes of cardio at lunch today.  After I get the all-clear on my lungs, I will go through a complete physical exam by the Mayo Clinic in preparation for surgery.  After that I will meet with my hypnotist to get my head straight and to better deal with the anxiety.  Surgery will follow on Monday April 16th.

It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself when you have cancer,  But, I keep asking myself, if not me, then who?  My dad?  My brother?  Someone else I love?

No way.  I’m glad it chose me.

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